It’s the year of the fire horse. Apparently, it’s bad luck when the current year is the same one associated with your birthday. This doesn't matter for me, because I wasn’t born during the year of the horse. 2009 was the year of the ox, which means that I am stable, dependable, and a fucking obese and disgusting ox. I got carried away. I’ve decided that I don’t need to study anymore. At this point, my only goal is to be able to recite facts and vaguely explain the reasoning

I look like an inverted Where’s Waldo right now wearing this dumb striped shirt that I actually really like. It’s blue and black, and Waldo is white and red. I guess we complete each other. Where’s Waldo? Well, spiritually, he’s right next to me. Like Waldo, I feel lost in a sea of people. I am at a coffee shop, and I am the only person here that has a secret tub of kimchi in my room that smells like shit. I don’t know how to make it not smell like shit. My fault for wanting

I originally thought that just a single school administrator was trying to ruin my life. Now, I realize that literally everyone is working against me and wants to see me fail. This sucks because, instead of enjoying my long weekend, I have to make a big Burn Book to expose all of these fucking people for the injustices they have committed against me. My grades and mistakes aren’t my fault anymore. I should not be forced into taking responsibility for anything. If you try to r

I got up so early today for such a relatively small amount of work. But, if I keep training, I will become nocturnal and sleep during the day while maintaining absolute vigilance at night. Alone and in the shadows. All for the ultimate goal of being awake at night. (??) A very old and fat woman just walked into Peet’s Coffee on Larchmont wearing my exact school uniform. WTF. We’re twinning because I’m also wearing my uniform. This is so freaky. She’s with her boyfriend. Maybe

Today, I had a meeting with a certain school administrator to talk about my stupid, fake role as Assembly Coordinator. I was told that I’m “super funny,” but also no longer allowed to be “super funny” when it goes against the interests of the school (for example, when I poked at the validity of the AI “professionals” after their enlightening Q&A at ASM). Basically, now I have to pretend to enjoy every presenter who sucks, and I can’t legally think in colors other than purple

Sorry I have been MIA - not that anyone is following this blog very closely. Whatever. School has a gun to my head and, if I come up for air too long, they will take me out back and finish the job. I am such a snoop on Spotify. It’s not even funny. I used to just steal people’s music taste and pass it as my own. Now, it feels like I am checking playlist updates as a way of understanding below-the-surface truths about the people around me. I read into everything. You can’t jus

Quotes from my family text thread: Sadie: "GUYS BRO WE WERE MID FILMING VIDEO AND LIT 20 COPS COME INTO THE LOCKER ROOM SND TELL US TO PUT OUR HANDS UP AND WALK OUT" Mom: "Sarah maybe take it kind of seriously" I just saw like 10 cops walking outside my window I have to go Wish me luck GANG!

When I was in third grade, I was obsessed with Pusheen. Pusheen is a weird little cat drawing that is often paired with cheeky captions like “I donut want to do homework” or “couch potato.” For my ninth birthday, I had my parents get me the official Pusheen book with a limited edition cover. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Every day, I would put it on the side of my desk, facing the front of the class. That way, all of my classmates would see it. In that class, there

I become situationally-depressed every time I enter my English class. I’m out of my depth and don’t understand what’s happening. I took the class because my dream job (screenwriter) vaguely involves writing words down, so I figured it would be smart to take the hardest English class at my school centered solely on literary theory. But, grades are entering the gradebook and my essays can’t keep up. --- I am trying to become more self-centered. Center myself. Take control. I do

I have been in school for about three weeks now. Senior. Year. Is. Insane. Not really. I think that, internally, I am really nervous about the college process. I tried to play it cool so everyone would be jealous of how not-nervous I am. That facade is falling apart. Mistakenly, I told everyone my ED. It’s not difficult to get into that particular school from my high school. That makes me scared, because a rejection letter will just be another reminder of all the mistakes an

My aunts went to Ivies and they make a lot of money. Correlation or causation? I want to test. They wont let me in, though. So, there’s that. I’m not mad. I am being serious. I'm not mad. I’m not mad I took Science of Food because I didn’t understand what a no-go that is in the world of "GPA science." I’m not mad I don’t own a nonprofit (secretly profit). I’m hood as fuck so nothing makes me feel bad about myself. People just sit around listening to unreleased music. And the

It seems like, no matter how hard I manifest, the universe is not letting me get out of all of this summer homework. Literal piles. Piles and piles. Piles of work. I’m so scared. The fear has overtaken my body and it hurts to sleep at night. .... I have decided what my problem is with all of the big LA diners. I heard someone talking about them online, and what they said is the reason that Mels and Swingers and whatever suck is that these are just cosplay diners and Los Angel

peachesinthemorning tried to claim in some shitty, half-deep poetry that the universe is “cream” when you take the average of all of the colors hues in existance. Not too sure about that one, buddy. It’s brown. Everyone knows that when you mix all of the colors you get brown. And if it’s not brown it’s probably black, because there is an overwhelming amount of dark sky compared to “planet.” Brown is the color of shit. I wonder if that holds meaning too. Shit: the stuff that c

Everyone is bullying Brittany Howard online. I’m not even going to share my opinions on the situation. I’m just going to recount what I am seeing. The official Alabama Shakes TikTok account is posting videos of their new single. All of the lyrics are about how everyone is being forced into working-class jobs. Freedom freedom blah blah blah. People are mad because, ever since her music got big, she doesn’t have to work that hard, and she’s preaching about a lifestyle she hasn

I was a perpetrator of homophobia today. As people know, I am usually the largest ally and an extreme friend of the community. You could argue I am in it, as I was called a lesbian throughout middle school. I am kidding! They called me asexual cause nobody wanted to tap dat. They also called me KFC because my hair was greasy. I am so happy I am not in middle school anymore. I got sidetracked with playing the victim. I did homophobia today. I got my hair dyed blonde at the pl

I went out this morning to get more Diet Cokes because I want them to be cold by the time I get home tonight. I love Diet Coke. That is my favorite drink. The best Diet Coke I have ever had was after seven weeks at sleep-away camp in 2024. I wanted to go home the whole summer. I even hijacked my MP3 player to access the internet, so I could email my parents about letting me leave. It was powerful. Anyways, the first day I got back, I looked in the fridge to find a motherloa

I’m gearing up to take another ACT tomorrow. At this point, I have zero expectations. I am starting to think I am just stupid or something. Everyone I have ever spoken to has a 35. I just don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get a 35? Am I not studying hard enough? Does God not love me? I just want a high score because the rest of my application is bullcrap and I need something that looks good. I should have locked in like 10 years ago. The day I was born, someone

I keep having this weird daydream where I am standing outside, and then I begin floating uncontrollably in the air. At first, the people around me freak out and try to catch me. But I’m too high to reach, so I just keep floating. After a few minutes, I can see every building below me. Then, even those become specks. Eventually, I am in space. Somehow I am able to survive without oxygen. I am also in a sort of drugged-out state that keeps me from being panicked about how irrev

I’m not super happy right now because my parents just blew up at me. They claim I haven’t been working hard enough this summer. The gist of it is that I barely get scheduled for shifts at my job and I have been avoiding eye contact with all of my unfinished college essays What even is “working hard”? I have been working hard on my hobbies. Does that count? I can’t tell them that, though, because then they will know there are things I like spending time on. That is a slippery

When you are 17 years old, you are the most systematically impeded from becoming fat as fuk and obese. My reasoning is as follows: the payment methods we are given as young adults are just not viable in the real world. No mall parking lot is accepting my Greenlight card that my dad puts 20 dollars on every week through the Greenlight app. This means that every fucking time I try to go to the Grove (or any large establishment) I have to find street parking 30 miles away. All o