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Transition Period (monetary-wise)

  • Writer: Fucking-cool-person Yeah
    Fucking-cool-person Yeah
  • Jun 30
  • 2 min read

When you are 17 years old, you are the most systematically impeded from becoming fat as fuk and obese. My reasoning is as follows: the payment methods we are given as young adults are just not viable in the real world. No mall parking lot is accepting my Greenlight card that my dad puts 20 dollars on every week through the Greenlight app. This means that every fucking time I try to go to the Grove (or any large establishment) I have to find street parking 30 miles away. All of that extra walking time burns like 200 trillion calories. That's why the government won't let me get fat. I am so angry about this. Let me get fat.


Once, I went to the Grove. I had just gotten my drivers license and didn’t realize the limits of my debit card. I was sandwiched in the middle of the car line to enter the parking lot. When I went to pay at the little box, lo and behold, they did not accept Greenlight as real money. So I got trapped. There were two options: explain my situation to a parking attendant or try to get out of line on my own. 


I choose my own destiny, though. I started sobbing and blew past the parking entrance in a fit of anxiety. I forget how I got out of that sticky situation, but the whole thing sucked.


I started posting songs on YouTube. I get a lot of encouraging comments from middle-aged men. Sometimes I’m scared they like me because I’m a female teenager instead of the work I produce. I will not stress too hard, because any press is good press.


Someone said the worst addiction ever is food addiction because, no matter what, you have to learn moderation instead of forcing abstinence. I disagree because I think the worst addiction is probably fentanyl, or like heroin. 


I went to the mall today and got new jeans. I am worried everyone will think I am a try-hard for buying myself new clothes. 


I’ve gotten really good at managing my OCD. Instead of going on prolonged anorexia benders, I just limit myself to freaking out when my room is messy before bed. I’m such an adult about things now. It’s great. Everyone Wants This.

 
 
 

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1 Comment


Leah Fischer
Leah Fischer
Jul 01

This is inspirational

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