Sadly Committed Homophobia.

I was a perpetrator of homophobia today. As people know, I am usually the largest ally and an extreme friend of the community. You could argue I am in it, as I was called a lesbian throughout middle school. I am kidding! They called me asexual cause nobody wanted to tap dat. They also called me KFC because my hair was greasy. I am so happy I am not in middle school anymore. 

I got sidetracked with playing the victim. I did homophobia today. I got my hair dyed blonde at the place I usually go to. The woman tasked with blowdrying my hair was young and chatty. She revealed to me that she grew up Christian. She told stories of her childhood, like how the Ukrainian Christians in her hometown wouldn’t let her into their houses because of her skin tone. So awful. That detail wasn’t part of the story either but I thought it was important because it made me reflect.

Going back and forth with stories, I started talking about my other hairdresser who is a homosexual nudist. He is only nude sometimes, and never around me. However, he has openly spoken about his nudist retreats in the past.

By bringing him and his alternative lifestyle up in conversation, I unintentionally invited homophobic judgement into the space. The young hairdresser covered my ears and told me I was “too young” to know about that stuff. I could feel her fancy hand lotion near my earlobes.

I don’t care that he is a gay nudist. Different strokes for different folks. When she tried to judge him, I put my hand out. 

“No. He is a fine man.”

The real homophobic thing I did was after leaving the hair salon. I had a hard time driving out of the area because West Hollywood is a bustling shit-storm of crack.baby.drivers who genuinely have a death wish.

Right as I was turning into Laurel Canyon, I got cut off by this guy on one of those dumb motorized scooters. Scared for both of our lives, I rolled down my window and yelled that his scooter looked gay. He stuck up the middle finger at me, then pooted off.

This is me apologizing. I shouldn’t have said it. I was just scared, and I felt alone. Despite my best efforts, I am vulnerable to thinking traps. 

EDITORS NOTE: Not sure why the font/style is different for this post but whatever.