Where is Waldo

I look like an inverted Where’s Waldo right now wearing this dumb striped shirt that I actually really like. It’s blue and black, and Waldo is white and red. I guess we complete each other. Where’s Waldo? Well, spiritually, he’s right next to me.

Like Waldo, I feel lost in a sea of people. I am at a coffee shop, and I am the only person here that has a secret tub of kimchi in my room that smells like shit. I don’t know how to make it not smell like shit. My fault for wanting a fun and fermented snack at 2pm. After I finish up my work, I have to go buy Febreeze I guess. Adulting, ammiright?

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There are like ten boys I follow on instagram that I feel responsible for informing that they are homosexuals. If you are posting digital camera pictures of yourself at a concert wearing fun sunglasses, you deserve to know that being gay is not a bad thing, and that you are allowed to live a life that is sunny, beautiful, and ferociously effeminate outside of the closet. Yes queen, it is okay.

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I used to operate with the belief that everything is a sign. I don’t think this is true anymore. Nothing is a sign and everything is just another thing. Instead of living “like there’s no tomorrow,” I’ve decided there definitely IS a tomorrow and I’m going to keep pushing everything off into an endless sea of whatever until the wave crashes and I start experiencing the life everyone else has been claiming to have for years.

I've been looking at NASA pics. Clearly, everything becomes equal when viewed from outside the atmosphere - making individuals too small to be ants but not small enough to just not exist. Maybe Earth is a brain and we’re all brain-eating amoeba, and climate change and nuclearrhea is just what we were put here to do. Every scorch on the planet is just a spec of cancer (or whatever amoeba produce) that we created as our way of fulfilling some divine biological purpose. We’re hungry hungry amoeba, so we eat.

I don’t know what I’m getting at here but I feel like it’s true. The other day, I was sitting at the dinner table trying to explain AI to my parents. This is difficult, because they can’t imagine AI as something beyond a diet-planner or a tool that can turn our old family pictures into weird clips that vaguely resemble home movies. 

Anyways, I was trying to explain that AI will probably kill everyone. When they asked “why,” all I could do was look at my lap and realize I don’t actually know why. Like, I get the buzzwords and stuff, but I can’t envision a real chain-of-events detailing how we get from AI to mass death. We are all conditioned to believe stuff. My parents are conditioned to believe that AI is the jazzier version of Google, and I am conditioned to believe that it is the key that unlocks a gigantic wormhole to ultimate Hell. I don’t know who’s right, and I don’t want a c.AI boyfriend. I’m just going to leave it at “huh, crazy times” and go work on my Wisco application.