ASU English Major

It’s the year of the fire horse. Apparently, it’s bad luck when the current year is the same one associated with your birthday. This doesn't matter for me, because I wasn’t born during the year of the horse. 2009 was the year of the ox, which means that I am stable, dependable, and a fucking obese and disgusting ox. 

I got carried away. I’ve decided that I don’t need to study anymore. At this point, my only goal is to be able to recite facts and vaguely explain the reasoning behind them. I’ll get halfway there, and blame any gray-areas on not being articulate. #BornDifferent

When I typed the word “gray” above, I initially used the British spelling but decided against it. Blue wave is here, so I can be a patriot again. This is good news for me. It was getting pretty bad. I almost applied to Notre Dame (as a Jew) because I wanted to feel part of something greater than myself. Feminism feels tacky post-Barbie, and I’m too lazy to join a club. It was either Notre Dame or this beautiful country.

When I was a kid, I wanted to join the military and fly fighter jets. This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever had and it would have never worked. Still, I liked the idea of doing loopy-loops in the air. Maybe nothing is dumb and everything just happens and exists. Dumb and smart are two very binary terms. I exist in the fade (medium-smart).

This blog post is getting me out of APES studying, which I am ready and excited to fail later today. It’s a blessing to feel shitted-out. It proves that I am human, and I exist on the same plane as everything else. 

So, when I open my grade in a couple weeks and see a big fat FAIL, I’ll go to all the people in my life and tell them I appreciate them. It’s not actually failure, you know. It’s just redirection. 

I told a bunch of people on Halloween that I am an English major at ASU. Maybe this isn’t so far-fetched.